Rebel Moon Part Two: The Scargiver
The rebels gear up for battle against the ruthless forces of the Motherworld as unbreakable bonds are forged, heroes emerge — and legends are made.
Why oh why did I subject myself to the pain of this god-awful movie? Part 1 was filled with the worst characteristics of Zack Snyder. From his overuse of slow motion to the most hamfisted dialogue you can imagine, it was a trainwreck. Now with Part 2, Synder has decided to double down on his worst characteristics and add more pointless slow-motion and even worse dialogue. But what is even worse is that the story for Part Two makes no sense as it lacks all bounds of internal logic. It plagiarizes Akira Kurasawa’s masterpiece, Seven Samurai, so much so that Kurasawa should be resurrected so he can sue Snyder into oblivion. All of the characters are clearly copy pasted from Kurosawa’s masterpiece but lack the urgency and unique characteristics that made Kurosawa’s so memorable. Furthermore, Kurosawa’s actors actually gave a damn with their performances, unlike the forced and regretful performances seen in Rebel Moon. The action pieces are messy as they are filled with eye-rolling slow motion and stupid battle tactics. And by the end of the entire movie, you wonder why on earth the empire was obsessed with this stupid town. Like can you not get wheat from another world or can you just blast the town from space and start a new colony there? This works when it takes place in feudal Japan, but not in an intergalactic empire. Hopefully, this trainwreck will finally tell Hollywood to stop giving Snyder money to do whatever he wants.
My Rating: D-
Available on Netflix.
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The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare.
In 1940, Winston Churchill and Ian Fleming form a clandestine combat organization for Britain’s military that changes the course of World War II and prefigures the modern black ops unit through its unconventional and entire warfare against the Nazis.
The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is a simple, yet fun silly movie about the Brits breaking the rules of warfare to end the terror of the Nazi U-Boats. It has a straightforward story that plays out like a standard heist flick with all the tropes associated with it. It executes this simple premise well with fun action pieces, a funny and charismatic ensemble, and brutal kills of those Nazi shits. I just wished the characters felt vulnerable as they felt invincible throughout the entire movie’s runtime. Overall, a fun movie that will make Dad’s all around the world very happy.
My Rating: B-
Available on VOD
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Boy Kills World
When his family is murdered, a deaf-mute named Boy escapes to the jungle and is trained by a mysterious shaman to repress his childish imagination and become an instrument of death.
Boy Kills World is a fun, edgy, action comedy/thriller when there isn’t that annoying, Mortal Combat voiceover. When the voiceover of our mute character is present it irritated me as I found it annoying and forced into the script. However, when Boy Kills World allows its action pieces to speak that is when it becomes an incredibly fun movie. The action pieces are the definition of edgy as they are filled with brutal kills and ridiculous fighting styles that are wildly entertaining. Overall, this is a fun movie once the Mortal Combat voiceover isn’t talking, and the action is talking.
My Rating: B-
Available in Theaters
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Hundreds of Beavers
In the 19th century, a drunken applejack salesman must go from zero to hero and become North America’s greatest fur trapper by defeating hundreds of beavers.
If you have ever wanted to see a live-action cartoon done perfectly, I recommend Hundreds of Beavers. Hundred of Beavers is a simple story of a drunken applejack having to become an animal trapper to survive after beavers destroyed his cidery, through the medium of a classic Saturday Morning Cartoon. With little dialogue, Hundreds of Beavers shows its story through classic slapstick and physical comedy that feels in line with works such as Looney Toons and Tom & Jerry. It is a mastery of this comedic medium, perfectly showing the power of show don’t tell. Hundreds of Beavers is easily one of the funniest movies of the decade, and I can’t wait to see what Mike Cheslik and Ryland Brickson Cole Tews come up with next.
My Rating: A
Available on VOD
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The First Omen
When a young American woman is sent to Rome to begin a life of service to the church, she encounters a darkness that causes her to question her own faith and uncovers a terrifying conspiracy that hopes to bring about the birth of evil incarnate.
Move out of the way Immaculate, The First Omen shows you how to do a catholic pregnancy horror. The Omen franchise has been around since the mid-70s, and since its conception, it has struggled to recreate the magic of the original until now. The First Omen not only captures the frightening horror of the original 1976 film but surpasses it. From the chilling opening scene to the unsettling birth of the Anti-Christ, a sense of dreaded ambiance fills the screen through unsettling images and unique sound design. Then when paired with an outstanding performance from Nell Tiger Free (future scream queen), you have one fantastic horror movie from first-time director Arkasha Stevenson. I highly recommend it.
My Rating: A-
Available on VOD
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